Always Running

Always Running
I think if you're passionate about something you must go after it

There is no finish line

There is no finish line

Track Season's Just Around the Corner



It's been months since I've written last and I think that's okay. Life has been plenty busy and I've had a lot to focus on outside of writing. I recently decided to change my career path from medical school to physical therapy school. As a biomedical major, I think it's every students dream to become a doctor. And as much as I dream of having a doctorate of osteopathy, the classes I am taking right now have just made me miserable. So instead of being a biomedical science major with an emphasis in pre-medicine, I've decided to be a biomedical science major with an emphasis in physical therapy. That may not seem like much of a change to you, but it's required a lot of letting go on my part. Realizing that I would be happier with a more specialized doctorate than a generalized doctorate has been a big step for me. It sounds really silly to anyone else who isn't interested in science but to me it was a giant change. I hate letting go of control, for me this is letting go of control. But for a good reason. Now instead of taking years of undergrad worth of chemistry, physics, and introductory to pharmacy, I get to focus on what I truly love. Anatomy, physiology, exercise science and my all time favorite: sub cellular biology, (I don't discriminate though, all biology is my favorite).

Wow... I'm a nerd.

I think this type of self awareness applies to the rest of my life too. I really wanted to throw down an incredible cross country season. I felt guilty that my coach had brought me all the way from New Mexico to run for him when I was running so slow. I wanted to show my teammates that I was a lot more than the girl who had fractured her legs. But the more I focused on owning up to my name, the more discouraged I got. I realized that I needed to stop focusing on getting back to being the same runner I had been before my injury, and start focusing on the type of runner I was going to be afterwards. Let me tell you, amazing things happened. I gave up on the identity I had built for myself and strived for something better. Instead of getting upset when I couldn't match my pre-injury paces I started celebrating every mile. Instead of dreading hard workouts I was thankful that I at least got to run. Instead of pushing my body beyond the point of repair, I exercised self respect and humbled myself to my coach's training. Instead of getting nervous for races I let my legs, arms, and heart do what they do best; I let myself fly as fast as I could. I may not have ended this 2017 cross country season as the fastest on the team, I didn't even make the travelling squad like I had the year before. But I did end the season with healthy legs, something I have never ended any season with, ever in my whole entire life. And it's just continued to get better. My off season workouts post injury are faster than my in season workouts pre-injury. My legs are not only faster than they were before my injury, they are more developed, better taken care of, respected and ready.



10K Here I come. 










Focused on Faster

     Beginning this cross season has been so exciting for me! Obviously I am still regaining the fitness I lost during my injury and its been humbling to say the least trying to get back up to where I was before I fractured my leg. I am finding myself starting from ground zero again when it comes to my speed and strength. Thank goodness though for patient amazing coaches, muscle memory, and encouraging teammates!
     I really want to tackle the subject of integrity and the importance of sticking to your goals. As a long distance athlete more than half the requirement of our sport is being mentally tough, staying focused and prioritizing what's most important. I've seen a lot of my old teammates and friends who I used to run with fall off the bandwagon because they stopped focusing on their goals.
One of my favorite sayings is:

The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.

    This is so true and can be applied to any aspect in your life. If you want to be the strongest, fastest, best athlete that you can possibly be you have to act like it. Skipping practice, doing the bare minimum, having a bad attitude, and not prioritizing your goals will get you nowhere in the long run. In high school I used to get so frustrated with myself when I didn't meet my expectations. I expected myself to always place in the top of every race and always be standing on the podium. When this didn't happen I would beat myself up over it and psycho analyze the race to figure out what went wrong. My old coach used to pull me aside after those bad races and tell me, "Ten minutes. You only get 10 more minutes to be upset but then I need you to focus on the next race."This advice has gotten me through this current cross season so far. Yes I'm a little out of shape. Of course I'm not running the times I used to before my injury. Yet. Obviously I'm pretty dang sore from our Monday workouts. Am I where I want to be? Not yet. Am I going to beat myself up over it and cry because I'm not easily accomplishing my goals? ABSOLUTLY NOT.
     But I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to maintain a positive outlook. I'm going to stay focused. I'm going to put my health first and stay true to my training. If there is anything in my life that isn't setting me up to accomplish my goals, I'm going to get rid of it; toss it in the trash. I'm going to surround myself with athletes who are strong and fast and have the same goals as I do. I'm going to come to practice to deliver and contribute.
     In long distance running you very rarely get results immediately. It's a process, if you want to run a marathon you train up to a year in order to be healthy and fit enough to run that distance. If you are going to race a marathon you train for YEARS to build up the endurance, speed, and base needed to not only finish the 26.2 miles, but race them as well. I like to look at my running career the same way, especially after coming back from this major injury. It's a process. It takes focus, patience, hard work, and smart training to get to where you want to be. And I'm going to trust the process because my goal isn't to be as fast as I was before I broke my leg. It's to be faster.


Traveling: The Essentials


     I always have a hard time traveling. When I fly it feels like every single sports injury I’ve ever had in my life comes back on the plane. I ache, my legs swell to tight knots of muscle and my lower back injury from senior year of high school always acts up. My sport requires me to travel a lot so I’ve had to adjust and find ways to make traveling less hard on my body. Here’s some tips and tricks to make the next time you travel more comfortable, especially if you’re an athlete.

1.       Hydrate: This is so important. When you fly, or even travel long distances in the car, your body naturally gets dehydrated. You most likely aren’t around the normal watering holes you have back at home. The more dehydrated you get the more your muscles ache and the more time you need to recover from your flight before you can get back to full training.  I always carry an empty water bottle with me to fill up and always end up buying a spare water bottle and Gatorade once I get past security in the airport. Coffee and caffeine are diuretics: meaning they will dehydrate you. So no matter how tired you are, drink some water instead. Your body will thank you.

2.       Take pain medicine: I’ve flown a lot now to understand that I can’t skip out on my Tylenol when I travel. The pressure from the airplane is really hard on my legs. Even if I’m not hurting by the time the plane takes off I still make myself take some pain medicine because I know I’ll be needing it.

3.       Wear comfortable clothes: I’ve seen way too many women at the airport wearing dresses and heels to fly on the plane. This is ridiculous. Wear sweats. Wear your old running shoes or a pair of Birkenstocks. Wear a sports bra. I like to get up and stretch before and after my flight and there’s no way I could do that if I was all dressed up fancy for no reason. Also if you’re a runner and you’re wearing heels for the duration of your flight, have fun trying to run the next morning. Because you won’t.

4.       Foam roll: This is what helps me the most. After my flight or if I have a layover I ALWAYS pack my roller stick with me. Being able to roll out my tight swollen shins and calves makes such a big difference. I take 20 minutes or so to roll my calves, my Achilles tendons, my quads, IT Band, low back, and shins. Rolling out your legs promotes new blood flow and flushes the swelling out of your legs and back out into your blood stream. The tightness that accumulates in your lower legs after flying can all be flushed away once you roll. I’m obsessed with my rollers. I have the Stick, a plastic roller, two different foam rollers, a hand roller and then a pool ball that I use to massage out the bottoms of my feet. Rolling out may hurt at first but it’s the best thing you could do for yourself. And for the record, everyone wondering if their giant plastic roller will make it past security worry no more! I’ve never had a problem bringing my roller with me in my carry on.

5.       Eat right: DO NOT TAKE TRAVELING AS AN EXCUSE TO EAT LIKE AN UNSUPERVISED CHILD IN A CANDY STORE. Seriously people. Use some self-control. You will feel so bloated and disgusting if you eat all that nasty airport food. My best advice is to eat a big meal at home before you leave for the airport. I always stock my carry on full of granola bars and say no to all treats on the day that I travel. If I have a layover and need to eat, I usually stop at a café and buy organic sandwiches and kettle chips, any drink that I order I ask for no added sugar or vanilla. If you have a longer flight and like to snack bring along a pack of gun to chew on. I never understand those people who load up on snacks and spend their entire flight aimlessly eating. Whatever you do please don’t drink soda or energy drinks. Soda and energy drinks are made from the devil himself. The fastest way to gain weight, clog your arteries, and overwork your heart is to pump yourself full of that liquid sugared crap. Just drink water people, or a sports drink. Remember food is fuel, not a past time.

6.       Visualize: During the time I’m in the air flying I like to turn on my favorite workout playlist and visualize myself going through the motions. I imagine myself running as hard as I can down the track, using perfect form. I focus on every single muscle in my legs and arms and tell them how they are going to work. I imagine what it’s like to hear my spikes hitting the track over and over again.  I imagine myself during a race doing everything perfectly.  Since flying makes me a little nervous, when I focus on running I calm down. I take the time to practice control and visualize the type of athlete I want to be. You have to be honest with yourself when you do this. Take your biggest weakness as an athlete and visualize yourself defeating it. For example I don’t feel like I have a strong kick at the end of my races. I visualize myself running the last 400 meters of a 5k as fast as I can. I practice speed and perfect form in my mind over and over again so that once I do step on the track I’ll already know what to do.

7.       Wash your hands: this is simple guys. Airplanes are actually really gross if you think about it. Essentially they are just giant germ tubes. Bring hand sanitizer, wash your hands, and don’t get too close to people. You will get sick. I promise you that if you aren’t cautions you will get sick from someone else’s germs and have to take a week off of training and end up out of shape. This happened to me when I flew home last December and I caught the nastiest cold that didn't go away for weeks.
Following these simple steps will hopefully improve your next traveling experience. This past weekend I flew home to Washington and didn't land in the airport until midnight. Taking care of your body will decrease the need to recover and you'll be back on your feet running in no time!





Going the Distance

     I'm just going to be real, those first couple months down at ENMU were tough. I lived by myself. I woke up at 5am for practice, afterwards  I would shower, rush through breakfast in order to get to classes on time and then go back to my little dorm, change into a second pair of running clothes and rush to my second practice of the day. There were times I ran until my feet were bleeding. If you think I'm kidding I have blood stains on my running shoes to prove it. I would run until I threw up, I would run until I couldn't see, hear, even feel my body anymore. And then I would go back to my dorm, drag myself to the shower, eat dinner, stay up all night doing homework and then get up the next morning to do it all over again. Becoming a college athlete was to this day one of the hardest things I've ever done, but one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had.
     Being a long distance athlete is just like being in a long distance relationship. Last year I learned a lot about both. Here's some personal advice from someone whose gone the distance and knows what it's like to "be there and have done that."


     Endurance is key, it takes a heck of a long time to build up and a very short amount of time to loose. In long distance running endurance is the base to all success, you will literally get no where without it. In long distance relationships endurance is just as vital. Those first couple months I spent away from my high school sweetheart were some tough ones. We fought against living in two different time zones with extremely conflicting schedules. My Kyle worked two jobs in addition to going to school that first semester. The only time we had to talk with each other was when he got off of working the night shift. Mind you he would get off of work at 11pm his time, which was 12am my time, don't forget that I also had to wake up at 5am to run in the mornings as well. We had to set new boundaries, bypass road blocks and find new ways to support and love each other all while being 1,512 miles apart. There were some days that being away from Kyle was completely miserable. But we endured through the hard stuff. Just like any long distance run, it's going to get tough. The truth is it's going to be hard, the defining moment is when you want to give up and throw in the towel, that's the moment you need endurance the most. If you can just put one foot, theoretically and physically, in front of the other for just a little bit longer it'll start to become easier and you will be so thankful you didn't quit. I'm so glad I didn't give up on running when it got tough and I am extremely glad Kyle and I didn't give up on each other those first few months spent apart.
     With any long distance sport or relationship sacrifice is incredibly important. I could write a never ending list of ways that I have sacrificed in order to be a long distance athlete. I have sacrificed sleep, money, friendships, time, comfort, and countless other things all in pursuit of my athletic dreams. To me those sacrifices are all worth it. And when it comes to long distance relationships you need to learn to sacrifice as well. Learn to stop being so freaking selfish. Take your selfishness and throw it in the trash. Not the recycling bin, the trash. Then proceed to burn it all up so that you don't have any left. People these days go into relationships thinking, "what's this person going to do for me?" when in reality a real relationship consists of two people constantly thinking, "What can I do for this other person." Kyle does an amazing job at sacrificing for our relationship. He is one of the most unselfish people I know. Me on the other hand, I've had to learn along the way. Kyle would send me long texts the night before my championship races so that I could wake up to a heartfelt message full of inspiration and support. He mailed me care packages of groceries and my favorite snacks to make sure that I was always getting enough to eat. The days I was overwhelmed from having a bad practice or a bad race he would FaceTime me and sing me my favorite songs to help me calm down. For Christmas he helped me buy plane tickets to come home to him and even planned a surprise trip to visit my grandparents who live up near Canada. He made me breakfast and blueberry tea in the mornings and ran along side me in the cold snow when I had to train. Kyle is the perfect example of being unselfish and I look up to him so much for that. If you are unwilling to sacrifice for your sport or your relationship than you better be prepared for a complete and utter lack of success.
     Goals. Goals. Goals. When it comes to being a long distance athlete you will not accomplish anything without short term and long term goals. I can't tell you how many team meetings I've been to over the years just to discuss season goals. Goals require planning and hard work. If I had to endure and sacrifice the things that I do for running without an end goal in sight it would make all my suffering seem pointless. Why in the world would I run until my feet bleed if I didn't have a reason to? It would be ridiculous! The same applies to long distance relationships. You need to sit down and have a talk with your significant other about goals. One thing Kyle and I always do is plan out the
next time we will see each other. When I saw him during Thanksgiving last year we had a plan to visit each other for our anniversary in December. In December we had a plan to visit each other at my parents house in Pennsylvania during the summer. Having these sort term goals made the distance seem less difficult. We would count down the days until we got to see each other again, giving us something to look forward to. It wasn't until Kyle and I had been doing long distance for 5 months that we sat down and had the long term goal talk. This is important for any relationship and any long distance sport.  Kyle and I decided that we needed to close the distance as soon as possible. It took months and months of planning on my part to make this happen. I was already very unhappy at ENMU and knew I couldn't stay. I decided to transfer. After gaining permission from the athletic director, my coach and the NCAA I received my release papers and started looking for new schools. After additional months of looking I chose to transfer to Central Washington University which was conveniently 45 minutes from the town I grew up in as a child and 45 minutes away from my high school sweetheart. The decision to transfer schools especially as a college athlete is not for everyone, in fact I don't recommend it. There's a butt ton of paperwork and stress involved. But transferring was perfect for me. So many unnamed factors played a part in me needing to leave ENMU, and I'm so happy to be moving back home and ending the distance with my sweet Kyle.
     After only getting to see each other 3 times in the past 12 months, Kyle and I are beyond thrilled that later this month, almost exactly a year from when I first moved away from Washington, I will be moving back. This time to stay. With a new coach, a new team, a new apartment, and a new ring on my finger symbolizing our race to end the distance and my personal race to become the best long distance runner that I could ever possibly be. A promise.





    

Advice for the New Runner

     I can remember my first run. I was eight years old and knew absolutely nothing about running except that I really liked the feeling of going fast and could beat all the boys at recess in the little races we used to have. I know what you’re thinking, at eight years old I was already showing signs of being a masochist. I knew from walking to school every day that four times around the block equaled a mile so I put on my sneakers and ran as fast as I could. When finished  with the mile I stopped to catch my breath, then I did the only reasonable thing, I went inside to the kitchen and put my head upside down in the sink, turning the cold water on full blast. Later that day I convinced my parents to sign me up for the closest city race. Thus my love for running began.
     Under normal circumstances the first time you go running is going to be a lot worse. I’ve had plenty of terrible, horrible, miserable runs throughout my life and can tell you stories that’ll scare you away from running indefinitely. You could probably save yourself some misery on your next run if you follow these five steps.
1.     Go poop before you run! I’m serious guys, it isn’t even funny. The last place you want to be is 3 miles into your long run with no bathroom, toilet paper or privacy and the strongest urge to poo. To save yourself from getting the runs on the run just use the bathroom before you head out the door. Don’t feel like you need to go? Think again and do it anyway. Also don’t eat anything that’ll make you need to use the bathroom before you run. I once ate mashed potatoes and a corn dog before a 6 miler and I won’t go into graphic detail on what happened but it was bad, and I’m not proud of it. You get the picture? Use the bathroom before you run and don’t eat before you run either.
2.     Safety first. Always run with your phone or a running buddy, this one’s important people. I’ve been attacked by a dog twice while running and followed by men on different occasions, one of which required me to call the police. For your safety run with a phone or at least a partner. Always be aware of your surroundings when you’re out on the roads. I love to listen to music when I run but always keep the earbud closest to the road turned on low or completely silent. Also don’t be stupid and go trail running alone. Growing up in Washington if you went trail running alone it meant you could potentially be attacked by a bear. So be smart and don’t do that.
3.     Less is more. No, don’t get excited and think less running is more because it’s not. But the less amount of clothes you wear while going running is. I have made the mistake so many times of throwing on too many layers on a chilly day resulting in having to cart heavy, sweaty, baggy clothes home on the last half of my run. It’s better to start your run off chilly and take the first mile or so to warm up than to sweat too much underneath all those layers and end up hot, grumpy and dehydrated. That goes for gear too. If you are going on a 5 mile run leave your fuel belt and gu gels at home. Trust me, you’ll survive without it. You’ll also save yourself the embarrassment of being laughed at by other runners who don’t need to strap 47 water bottles to their chest to make it through such a small run.
4.     Wear the right shoes!! If you’re going to take anything away from this article please learn to wear the proper shoes. It’s taken me a long time to find the right pair of running shoes for my body. I’ve unfortunately learned from the consequences of experience. Five years ago I fractured my foot in pair of Nikes, this caused me to lose my regional title and my spot in the state championships. In order to train right and be healthy you must have the right pair of shoes. This might require you to learn more about how your body responds to training; your running economy, and your form all play a part in keeping you healthy. If you’re training or racing in the wrong pair of shoes you will get injured, 100% guaranteed. Running shoes are the most important gear for our sport. For your health, comfort, and safety please wear the right pair for you.
5.     Have Fun! That sounds pretty cheesy, I know. But it's true.  If you don’t remember to make running fun you will lose all motivation and passion for the sport. Last track season I got really injured and had forgotten how to have fun in my training. I was miserable because I’d gotten so caught up in having success as an athlete that I missed the point. Running is supposed to be fun! Running is natural, primal almost. Even when it’s hard running is what our bodies were made to do. You can’t forget why you run. For every hard workout you do, take the time to relax in your training and enjoy just getting out there, logging those miles and having a good time!
This blog can also be read on www.runfittedblog.com 



Mental & Physical Health


     I want to talk about these pictures for a little bit.

     Although they may look like they have nothing in common they have a lot more than you think. These pictures were taken within 12 hours of each other. The first picture is the night I raced the 5k down in West Texas. The second picture was a selfie taken the morning after. I remember posting the first picture on Facebook a while ago, my friends and family commented on how "strong" I looked and congratulated me on the outcome of the race. Little did they know what actually happened the night of that race and the morning after when that selfie was taken. I stepped on the starting line of the race in extreme pain. I remember limping through my warm up, coating my legs in icy hot, begging my trainer to work some sort of miraculous tape job and popping Tylenol on the infield right before I took off my sweats to get on the line. For the first half-mile of this race I cruised comfortably along with the top pack, adrenaline masking the pain of my leg. On the second lap of the race I felt a pop, heard a pop in my right leg and stumbled. Although very concerned I ignored it and finished the race. My coach did not let me drop out. Afterwards I couldn't even jog my cool down, I could hardly walk to the bus to get home. I hadn't come in last but I certainly didn't race my best and my coach was mad at me for it. Once the bus driver dropped us off in Portales, New Mexico it took everything I had to crawl into my dorm room shower. There I huddled on the floor in the fetal position holding my leg, I laid under the hot spray and cried.
    The second picture was a selfie I took the morning after the race. I woke up and could not move. I could not put weight on my leg, I could not walk down to the cafeteria and get breakfast, I couldn't even flex my foot. This was around noon right before my teammate picked me up to take me to the emergency room. I took the picture because I thought my hair looked nice. When I arrived at the hospital I received 4 different x-rays and was told by the doctor to stop running immediately even though the x-rays did not show any sign of damage. I stopped running for 3 days. During those days I cross trained on the elliptical and bike as well as doing up to 30 minutes of core work in one session. I tried running afterwards. My leg buckled and would not allow me to push off my toes or stride out. I remember my coach yelling at me during practice because I had cross trained all week and should have been rested enough to "at least complete my drills." I was not allowed to skip any more workouts no matter how much pain I was in.
       The next week my trainer scheduled me an x-ray with another doctor downtown. I remember going in for the appointment completely alone. No parent, teammate, coach or friend with me. That doctors office was one of the loneliest places I have  ever been. After taking 4 more x-rays the sports physician who was working with me gave me the news. I had abnormal calcium buildup on my shins from the severe stress of over training. I had a stress reaction in my left leg, and a complete stress fracture in my right leg. If I had continued running until the end of the week I would have had two fractured legs and would have needed to be in a wheel chair for the remainder of the semester.
      There was a lot of things that attributed to my injury. I was taking 17 credits, averaged 4-5 hours of sleep at night and ran at least 10 miles a day. On Mondays I would run up to a cumulative of 15-17 miles. Weekly I averaged about 70 miles. Poor nutrition, poor communication with my coach, poor coaching and overtraining all played a part in my injury. And to be honest I was so relieved when that doctor put me in a boot. Training injured was ruining my love for the sport and all I wanted to do was stop. I hated going to the track for workouts where I was told to keep running even if it hurt. I hated the sharp stabbing pains the went up and down my legs every time I moved faster than a walk. I had already decided to transfer schools before I was injured but after my injury there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I needed to get out. There was a lot of good things about going to school in New Mexico but they weren't good enough to make me stay and run for a team who's coaching style made me so injured. My mental health took a downward spiral and I started having nightmares, body aches, and nausea. The amount of credits (17) that I was taking mixed with the amount of running I was doing and the lack of support I felt from my team almost broke me. I was completely alone.
     Four months later I am now able to run again. I run with my headphones in not even caring about how slow my pace is. I stop when my legs hurt and continue running once they don't. My new coach emails me weekly on my progress and has showed me nothing but support, compassion, kindness, and enthusiasm.  I have gained a little bit of weight since these pictures were taken, I sleep 8 hours a night, and eat whatever my body wants to eat. I am happy and healthy and have vowed never again to race for a coach who forces me to run injured. Please remember to take care of yourself and that:

     Your mental & physical health is more important than your sport.
Your mental & physical health is more important than your scholarship or contract.
Your mental & physical health is more important than your coach.
Your mental & physical health is more important than the number of credits you're taking.
 You're the only one who knows your body completely. If someone forces you to compete through immense pain just leave.
Get out of the situation.
Always put your health and safety first before the expectations of others.




Support Person: Support System

     These last couple weeks my high school sweetheart from Washington has came out to visit my family and I in Pennsylvania for the summer. He is a very active person; a backpacking, fly fishing, weightlifting machine and he took it upon himself to be my personal trainer this last month. Lately I've just been doing the bare minimum when it comes to working out. I do my hip and glute exercises, I lift on my upper body, I do some core and I frustratingly try to get out and run even though my leg still hurts sometimes. Getting back in shape is not fun. Getting back into running shape is a lot worse.
     The sad truth is that sometimes people will be shady with you. It's hard to accept but sometimes it's got to happen. People you love will trick you into doing things you may not have planned on doing yourself. The first week Kyle was here he took me to a nice scenic outlook on top of Mt. Pocono where I live. I was excited! The woods were beautiful and we could park the car right next to the outlook so I didn't have to do any hard hiking, it was great! We walked around and I even took some pictures of the beautiful mountain pass and scenery. He mentioned going on a nice little hike. Feeling up to it I of course agreed! Hiking is something we love to do together and we actually went on a hike for our first date. What could possibly go wrong?
     Two hours later I was bum scooting my way down steep trails and crawling my way up the mountain trying to keep up with my boyfriend who always seemed to be hiking just a little out of my reach. I had to stop and take Tylenol, laying in the dirt in the middle of the trail. Every seven minutes or so I would wipe my face with my sweat drenched shirt and ask, "How much farther?" To which Kyle would reply, "Just a little bit longer." By the time we got back to the parking lot I was sore, my legs were shaking, and I was exhausted. Later that night over dinner after some shopping Kyle told me that the hike was only 3 miles and that he was proud of me for going out there and doing it because "you're going to school to be a runner, not a cheerleader." All teasing aside, that is true. If I want to succeed as a colligate runner, I need to start behaving more like one, my leg is done being injured, it just needs to get strong again.

    Later that week Kyle laced up his Nikes, gave me that mischievous grin of his, and told me he was going out for a run. He hates running. Not wanting to be shown up I reluctantly laced up my own shoes and headed out the door. What happened next was the most beautiful experience. Obviously Kyle left me in the dust, but I ran completely pain free for 20 minutes. That twenty minutes of running was all it took. I confess I even shed a few happy tears or two. For the first time since my injury I went running for myself. Not for my coach, not to meet any expectations, not to please my teammates. I went running for myself and it was so soul touching.
     Kyle continued to run with me throughout his whole visit. He even took me out to the park in the evening so that I could watch the fireflies while running together on the trails. It was slow moving and I was scared at first. Coming back from a huge injury like a fractured leg makes you question your bodies ability a little bit. But Kyle knew. He knew that all it would take was a playful shove in the right direction to get me up and running again.
     A couple days before he flew back to Washington we decided to go hiking in New Jersey. We had planned before hand to only hike a maximum of 3.5 miles to keep it comfortable. As per usual Kyle brought the map and planned the route. We saw some gorgeous waterfalls and beautiful trees the moment we stepped on the trail. About fifteen minutes into the hike it started to gradually get steeper. I kept quiet and worked harder to keep up with him.  I wore my GPS watch this time just in case Kyle tried to pull something sneaky like the last hike.
     Five miles into the trail we were scrambling up a mountain side with no where to turn around. I had drank almost all of our water, needed to take a break every 5 minutes or so to rub my sore legs, and was popping extra strength Tylenol like candy. I finally stopped and google mapped where we were. To my dismay we were barely even reaching the halfway mark. I had been conned! My promised 3 mile hike had turned into 9.5 miles of steep rocky hiking. My legs hurt so bad and I was exhausted. When we finally got to the top of the trail Kyle gave me a kiss, some cranberry trail mix, and a pat on the bum for good work. He apologized for being sneaky but then said he was so proud
of me for sticking to it. The rest of the hike was smooth sailing from there. After the Tylenol kicked in when we finally reached the top I had the time of my life hiking with Kyle and talking with him on the trail.


      I think sometimes we get stuck in a box. We get too comfortable with our lack of improvement and become too scared to push ourselves, especially coming back from an injury. I'm lucky to have Kyle who knows me so well. He knew it was going to take a little shove in the right direction to get me to have the confidence in myself as an athlete again. I didn't even think that I would be healthy enough to hike 9.5 miles by the end of this summer. If I would have known that was the plan a couple days ago I don't think I would've followed through. But that's the amazing thing about having a support person. Kyle would do anything to see me accomplish my goals and dreams. He knew it was going to take a couple hard hikes and some longer runs to get me feeling myself again, even if that meant being shady about how far we were hiking. I'm going into the rest of this summer with a new found determination to push myself harder than before and stop being scared of challenging my body, because in the end, there is no finish line. I'm pretty darn lucky to have a best friend who's willing to go the extra mile to see me succeed. I absolutely love running and I for sure do love my Kyle guy!




   

Nothing but the Truth

     Life's been a little crazy lately with getting into my new work routine and slowly starting to run again. Yes, you heard it, I'm starting to run again! It's ridiculously slow and a very humbling process. We've all got to start somewhere, but that's not what I'm writing about. I want to talk about the most stupid, the most ignorant, and the most idiotic lie I've ever heard. The lie that is used to motivate, to inspire, to promote change. This lie is hung up on walls in gyms, coach's offices, and seen everywhere on social media especially if you follow any type of athlete.  In fact this lie is the foundation of all sports injuries, and when I say all I mean every single last one. I am here to unearth the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth. Brace yourself because everything you know about fitness is going to change by the end of this short little blog post.

     Every time I worked out in my school gym, whether it be to lift or run on the treadmill I would see this sign: picture a very sweaty, muscular man, gritting his teeth taking his first steps out of the sprinting blocks. You could only imagine the explosive power and speed he was capable of. On top of the picture in white bold words was plastered the lie of all lies quoting, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." I want to tear that sign down and burn it in front of every gym manager, fitness freak, weight lifter and uninformed coach I've ever known.

PAIN IS NOT WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!!!
Let me say it again.
PAIN IS NOT WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!!!
Repeat it with me,
PAIN IS NOT WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!!!

     I don't know where this saying came from or who decided that it was suddenly supposed to be this mantra all athletes chant in their heads while going through their toughest workouts, but it needs to change. The mindset that working out and training must be painful in order to make any progress is completely false. Pain is not weakness leaving the body. Pain is your body's way of telling you something is drastically wrong. It is your body's way of pressing the panic button to try to get you to stop. Trust me on this. I have ran through a broken foot, a broken leg, a torn quad, a strained hamstring and many more injuries all because I thought that the more my body hurt the harder it was working, thus the more progress I was making. If you try to exercise and it is painful you need to immediately stop. No ifs ands or buts. You need to take care of yourself. Working out is not supposed to be painful and if it is you must stop what you're doing and listen to your body. If you workout in pain you will get injured, 110% guaranteed. Just take care of yourself.

    Don't get me wrong, you need to push yourself in training. That's why working out is supposed to be uncomfortable. Running 20 x 400 meters around the track is very uncomfortable, almost miserable, your legs and lungs are on fire, your arms and back start to get sore, and your calves will feel like mushy piles of unsweetened oatmeal when you're done. Going for a 14 mile long run is not a comforting experience either, you ache and fatigue, your muscles and joints are upset at the constant pounding of your feet on the ground. Lifting weights, especially for a small lean distance runner, is never fun. It's exhausting just like any type of working out. But it's not painful.
    
     The most important thing you can ever do for yourself in life is learn the difference between "painful" and "uncomfortable." The more we learn about ourselves the easier it is to read that difference. This is applicable to everyone. We need uncomfortable things to push us to grow, whether it's physically, emotionally, or spiritually. However, pain stunts growth; it harms your body and has the exact opposite effect that discomfort has. So please, the next time someone uses the saying, "pain is weakness leaving the body," tune out, don't listen, and know that they'll probably show up to the gym injured next month.

Train smart, my friends.
    

Fast Fashion & Getting Back to my Roots


     When I was 13 every Monday was designated as my "fun run" day. I would wear whatever silly outfit I choose and run 5 miles as slow as I wanted while wearing it. I made running fun! The older I've gotten the more running has transitioned from wacky leg warmers and spaghetti-strapped 5 milers  to coaches in suits, and photographers showing up to practice. Sports bras, running briefs, Garmin watches, workout splits, compression, spikes, flats, trainers, foam rollers, stem therapy, ultrasound massage, weight training, and pool workouts have replaced those fun Monday runs I had as a kid. As much joy and life as I get from running, it's still easy to get sucked into the daily grind. Scheduled 5 am Monday runs before class certainly don't feel fun, throwing up on the infield in front of my team after a hard workout is definitely not fun, and being told I cant eat chocolate or other treats the week of a championship isn't super fun either.

     Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed, maybe  because I haven't ran in 6 weeks as a result of my injury, or because I haven't seen the improvement I've expected of myself as an athlete this past year. I find myself  laying in bed at night worried about being fast enough to complete my ambitious goals. While expressing my worries to my boyfriend he said,

     "Stop thinking about how much you suck and start thinking about how amazing you are. You need to stop focusing on the finish line and look at the bigger picture. You don't run to cross finish lines, it's so much more and you can't forget that."

     Wow! Talk about some incredible advice! It's true though. Focusing on the negative will get you nowhere. Running never has been just about crossing finish lines. It's about the relationship you forge with your body and soul, its about overcoming challenges and pushing past barriers. It's about becoming the best version of yourself. I've always loved running, that's never going to change, but what needs to change is my attitude. Those 5 am workouts may not be as fun as those old dress up days, but they are a gift and I certainly miss them after not being able to run for 6 weeks. Throwing up after a hard workout may not be fun,  but that just means I  pushed my body to its limits doing what I love.

     It's all about perspective. In order to get back to my roots here are some of my favorite Monday workout outfits. Hopefully a little less wacky than they were 7 years ago!

My favorite racing kit: Nike flats, Garmin watch, Saucony singlet, and Asics running undies
I like to keep everything light when I'm racing with no bulky fabrics, in fact if I'm racing on the track  my pants are the first to go and then I ditch my socks because who needs those!?

The perfect long/temop run outfit: Nike singlet, Nike pro spandex, Garmin watch, and pink trainers
If I'm going out for longer than an hour run I like to keep things simple, too much fabric creates too much heat. It's always better to go into your long run a bit chilly than having to haul layers of clothes for 14 miles that you don't really need  

Speed/track work outfit: Nike flats, Nike pro spandex, sports bra, and optional Asics rain jacket
If I'm doing speed work on the track I prefer not to wear that much clothes. Shirts and even some singlets cause chafing, overheating and lots of sweating. It's easier to maximize your running economy when you don't have any restricting fabrics getting in the way while you're sprinting for your life around the track

Chilly weather running gear: synthetic long sleeve, mesh cotton tights, Garmin watch, and mint trainers
Chilly running weather can be perfect! It's a whole lot easier on your stomach when you're not overheating. If I feel hot during my run I get nauseated and sick! This outfit would be something to wear between 50-60 degree weather during any easy run, it has breathable fabrics that allow you to still sweat it out but stay warm in the process!

Working On Working Out

     Working out is hard. Working out while your injured is a lot harder! I've dealt with an abnormal amount of running related injuries in my athletic career and have learned a couple things along the way. The best thing to do when you're injured or just beginning to workout again is to consult your physician, physical therapist, coach or trainer. They can help you design a workout and rehab plan that is best for your body.  My workout plan currently involves hardly any cardio in order to allow my bone to heal, resistant exercises to rebuild leg power and a lot of upper body exercises to maintain core strength. Of course I'm missing running so much, but these exercises keep me focused and strong for the upcoming high mileage and speed workouts of this cross country season once I can run again. Five weeks post stress fracture here is what I'm doing now!

Warm Up
(Without the boot)
  • Biking 15-30 minutes
Upper Body
(With the boot, all free weight 5-20 pounds, standing)
  • 3x15 bicep curls
  • 3x10 arm extensions
  • 3x7 heavy triceps dips, 3x10 halfway triceps dips w/ less weight
  • 3x50 running arms, focus on form
  • 3x10 90 degree shoulder rotations
  • 3x5 one arm dumbbell snatch
  • 3x10 shoulder press
Core
(Without the boot)
  • 2x 10 minutes, 1 minute per exercise, no stopping
Hips & Butt
(Without the boot, no weight)
  • 3x10 squat walks w/ resistant band
  • 3x10 clam shells w/ resistant band
  • 3x20 bridges w/ resistant band
  • 3x10 double leg calf raises, 3x10 single leg calf raises
  • 3x3 sets of 3 booty leg raises: fire hydrant, straight back leg raise, and sideways leg raise
  • 3x10 resistant band strides
  • 3x3 sets of 4  ankle flexion exercises w/ resistant band

    Depending on the pain level in my leg I will do these exercises every day to every other day. They keep me fit while building back the strength in my atrophied leg. There are some day's when I can only do 20 minutes of bike riding and then have to call it quits, but then there are other days where I'm completely pain free and ready to take on the whole workout. It's such a difficult transition for me when I'm injured. Creating a balance of rehab and rest is something that I normally don't like to do when I'm healthy. Training for me has always been long morning miles, afternoon speed workouts on the track, and evening weight lifting sessions at the gym. But when I'm injured I have to dial back and reel myself in. Giving your body the rest and allowing yourself to heal in the time frame that your injury requires is more important than maintaining your pre-injury fitness level.

    Whether you're coming back from an injury or beginning to workout again after some time off listening to your body is always key. Hopefully this workout plan shows how injuries are not setbacks and only require modifications your physical activity, not a complete stop to it.

You're Stronger Than You Think

     It's been a month since I've been in the boot and I should be happy because I am making significant progress. I can now walk around the house and yard without it on for short periods of time and I can do 10 right leg calf raises when a week ago I couldn't even do one. I should be feeling proud of myself. But instead I'm so frustrated. Tonight wasn't a good night for me.

     I took my pink sneakers off after icing both my injured and non-injured lower legs and really looked at the difference between them. As a long distance athlete I've always prided myself on having a strong body;  strong legs, strong core, strong arms, strong heart. Tonight I broke down in tears as I saw a tiny, unmuscular, atrophied right leg next to my muscular, defined, much larger left leg. I felt completely defeated and didn't even recognize my body. How am I ever going to get back to where I once was? I asked myself along with so many more questions. I should be riding the bike longer. I should double up on rehab. I should be working out harder. All these nasty thoughts popped into my mind as I sat there holding my slightly sore, very atrophied right leg while crying, trying to fix my current situation.

     I think any athlete can empathize with what I've been going through. Yes, I have had a stress fracture before, but it was in my left foot and the stakes weren't as high because I wasn't a college athlete then. All I've been thinking about is showing up to my transfer school unprepared to run for my new team. I don't want to let my new coaches down, I don't want to disappoint my teammates, I don't want to not meet my goals, and I certainly don't want to get reinjured. URG!!!!

     It's been a tough road. My running career has had a lot more injuries than most, especially for someone as young as I am. I just want it so bad! I want to be out there on the starting line, healthy, fast and strong. I want to be the most powerful athlete I can be. My stress fracture isn't a roadblock down the path to my dreams, its just a detour on the way. Even though it's incredibly discouraging to see my atrophied leg it's still the same leg. This fractured leg is still the same leg that's ran tens of thousands of miles, won countless amounts of races, competed in nationally ranked championships, and raced to the tops of mountains. This atrophied leg is still strong. It always has been and it always will be. Just because it hurts to take the dogs outside for the bathroom or walk upstairs doesn't mean that I wont be back to where I used to be. Give me a 3 or 4 months and I'll probably be complaining about morning workouts, weekend long runs and sore muscles. My legs will look the same and I will look back on this injury knowing it was just another challenge. Nothing worth loosing my mind over.

    The truth is if you love something you're going to get hurt. Regardless of what you love and the precautions you take. If you put your heart and soul into something you're going to get hurt and that's not a bad thing. If you never get hurt it either means you aren't trying hard enough or you don't care. That's what I love about running some much, you can pour your whole soul into it and amazing spectacular things come as the result. But sometimes they don't. And when they don't it sucks and you might cry a little. But for me the good always outweighs the bad. Even without legs I'd still find away to run because gosh darn it that's just what I do.And I don't plan on letting any setbacks stop me because in the end there is no finish line.






You Don't Need a Team to Have Teammates


     It's so hard to motivate yourself to get out there and run. It's hot, it's cold, you didn't get enough sleep last night, you haven't hydrated enough all morning, you're feeling too sore from running yesterday. Or maybe, you think, this will be the run where you get hit by a car coming too fast around that blind corner you've always been scared of- better stay inside just in case and avoid immediate death. Even if you've been running for most of your life, it's still easy for those excuses to creep up and make you second guess going for a run. One thing I've learned is the importance of teammates. They force you out of your comfort zone and hold you accountable for being lazy.  However you don't necessarily need a team to have teammates. Some of my closest teammates are not even runners themselves. When I got injured a couple months ago with my stress fracture I was devastated. I don't know what I would've done without the help of my teammates.


     The week after getting in my boot, my teammate Cynthia who had a hamstring strain at the time, called me after classes and dragged my butt to the gym. She exiled me to the corner with all the free weights and told me to lift until my arms couldn't move and then do some core. Until the morning I flew out from the airport for the summer, Cynthia was there every day making me go to the gym with her to workout even though we were both injured. She would'nt take any excuses and said that my fractured leg didn't change the fact that I was still an athlete. She drove me to rehab five times a week and always made sure I iced. Before we both got injured she paced all of my workouts and ran in lane two on the track side by side me, encouraging me when I lost form or got tired. She cheered me on during workouts and made me get up early for our weekend long runs. She was with me through some of the hardest track workouts I've ever ran in my life. If it wasn't for her I have no clue what I would've done this last track season. Cynthia is the realest teammate and one of the most important running buddies I've ever had. She held me accountable to my goals and made sure that I literally stayed on track. To me that's what true friendship, sportsmanship and being a teammate is all about.
 

     For six years Kaili Keefe was my teammate. We ran track and cross-country together from 7th grade junior high to our senior year of high school. We ran almost every workout together and almost every race together for six years. Senior year we both signed to run for Eastern's. Her to Eastern Washington University, me to Eastern New Mexico University. Kaili always pushed me to do my best. One particular time during our junior year of cross country,I had gotten mono and was incredibly sick for half of the season. I lost weight and could hardly run. During the district championships she looked at me on the starting line and told me to do whatever it took in order to run the race. The gun went off and we sprinted those first few meters of the race until our pack found its rhythm. I struggled to stay with her and every time I dropped back she would yell at me saying, "Emily you can do it!" On the last 800 meters of the 5k race, I had lost pace. I was exhausted but refused to stop. Kaili turned the corner from first place and yelled with what she had left, "Come on Em!" Because of her I finished that race, broke 20 minutes in the 5k for the first time, and came in top ten, individually qualifying for state. Kaili never allowed me to give up on myself and always pushed me to be my best. Now she's crushing times and breaking records at EWU and I couldn't be more proud of her! Her encouragement and friendship helped both of us become the athletes we are now and I can't wait to meet up for some runs this August when I fly back home to Washington!


     Sometimes our closest teammates don't necessarily have to be on the team with us. When I was in eighth grade as a 13 year old, a boy named Kyle Wilkinson asked me to run a local race with him. Knowing that I could never turn down an opportunity to race, of course I said yes! Five years later when we were both 18 we sat in the back of our AP Writing class, giving the teacher an impression that we were doing our work when in reality we'd google mapped all of our favorite hiking trails together. It only took a week or so for that boy to take me hiking, meet my parents, and start going to the gym with me twice a week to lift legs. Kyle completely changed my life. I went from the very self-conscious girl who did nothing but run to a self-confident woman who could do anything she put her mind to. Kyle was there for all my senior track races, cheering for me just as loudly if I lost or won. He reminded me to follow my dreams, eat enough protein, and find balance in my life. Almost two years after that first hiking trip Kyle is still here encouraging me today. I have never been with anyone so willing to sacrifice in order to see me achieve my goals. He has bought plane tickets, driven for hours, given up his time and sleep to come support me and make sure that I feel loved. He's taught me to open up to other things than just running and even taught me how to fish. Kyle is my best friend, and the best teammate I've ever had.


     Having a support system is extremely important. I'm so grateful for all the many people in my life who've cheered me on. It's a whole lot easier to accomplish your goals when you've got your closest teammates holding you accountable. You don't need a team to have teammates, and you certainly don't need a team to be a teammate yourself. Magic happens when people decide to lift each other up and support each other's dreams!



Scary Things are Good

     Prior to graduating high school I took a road trip down to Oregon with my mom and some friends to go white water rafting. At some point along the river our guides pulled over and pointed to a cliff towering above us saying, “Who wants to jump off?” For a while no one spoke and just stared at the monstrous cliff in front of us. After what seemed forever, with a giant pit in my stomach I nudged my friends and said, “We have to do it or else we’re going to regret it later.” My pride always makes me do stupid, stupid things. Only three of my friends agreed with me and we silently jumped out of our boats, marched on shore behind our guides and climbed to the top of the 40 foot cliff. It was terrifying to see everyone else in our party sitting in the water looking up at us wondering what the heck we were doing, the water was so far away and my stomach started to churn. Our river guides showed us the safest way to jump off the cliff and then asked for a first volunteer. My stomach drastically sunk as I realized I had brought all my friends up here with me and therefore I had to be the first to jump. My toes curled in my water shoes. I climbed to the ledge looked at my friends and at the water 40 feet below, then without thinking I mustered up all my courage and flung myself into the unknown.

     It was the most painful splash I’ve ever experienced and I was bruised for a couple days on my arms and legs from landing wrong, but my pride was saved and I conquered something I was terrified to do.

     This was the exact feeling I had 10 months ago when I boarded a plane with a one way ticket from Washington to New Mexico. I was terrified to be moving 1,512 miles away from my family, my high school sweetheart, the mountains and my old team. The fear of a new culture, living on my own, going to school, and getting my butt massively kicked by women who were way better athletes than I was almost paralyzed me. But I had to do it. I had to move across the country and follow my dream to be a college athlete. Nothing else was or is as important as following that dream. So I took a step up to the ledge and flung myself over.

     No one had told me that we would have practice three times a day. A 6 mile run in the morning at 6 am, speed workouts in the afternoon at 3pm and weightlifting in the evening from 5-6pm. The miles racked up and every Monday I would end up running 13-15 miles depending on the workout. My booty wasn’t just massively kicked. It was kicked, chopped, cooked and then served back to me like a tenderized steak by every single teammate who was faster than I was. I started to think that my dream of running cross country and track collegiately was some masochist desire that needed to be treated with intensive therapy and counselling. Those first couple months until I really transitioned from a high school athlete to a college athlete were pretty darn rough. There were mornings I would run until my feet would bleed and then slap on all the Band-Aids, gauze and blister cream before going to class and then running all over again in the afternoon. I questioned every desire I ever had to be a runner. In the evenings when my roommate would go out and I was stuck lying in bed trying to soothe my destroyed muscles, I would look at my pile of running shoes and curse Nike, Asics, Altra, Hooka, Adidas, and every other running company I knew for contributing to this sport and thus ruining my life.

    Don’t let me fool you, even though I was suffering to the extreme, I still loved every minute of it. I look back on those first couple months and don’t regret any mile. But I’m not going to sugar coat anything, becoming a college athlete really stunk. Every day I thought I was going to die as my coach and teammates pushed me to my physical limits. Since those first months I have gone on to race for the XC LSC Championships in Texas where our team placed second, and in the NCAA Division II South Regional Championships in Colorado as the only freshman on the team. Sadly my track season wasn’t as exciting, I ran two races, both with subpar results as I struggled with a tibial stress fracture. However I became stronger than I’ve ever been and learned more about myself as an athlete than I ever have.

     Coming to a realization the second semester of my freshman year, I knew I needed to transfer. I was unhappy, lonely, and constantly in GI distress from the ridiculously spicy food New Mexican’s love to eat. Seriously guys, hot chili peppers create loads of problems during long runs! I needed to go back to what was familiar where I would receive more support and feel more comfortable to live the PNW lifestyle I was so used to. After months of fear I decided to take another leap into the unknown and received permission to transfer to Central Washington University to run for the team and study pre-medicine. I am so grateful for the friendships and teammates I have made down South; as bittersweet as it is to be leaving them I am ecstatic to remain true to myself and move cross country yet again in pursuit of my athletic career and dreams.

     As I prepare for my 13 hour flight back home in two days I now know that sometimes we have to do crazy, stupid things to chase down our dreams. I’ve always believed that if you want something you must go after it. No one is going to give you what you want except yourself. NO MATTER how terrifying this is, you absolutely have to take that step off that cliff, fling yourself into the unknown and make your life happen. We either have to choose to run our life or let our life run us. And since life isn’t stopping, I’d rather race alongside it. It’s idiotic to let fear stop you from accomplishing your biggest dreams and ambitions. Even if you get bumped and bruised along the way, every step and  mile toward your goals are worth it. Because after all, there is no finish line.