It's been months since I've written last and I think that's okay. Life has been plenty busy and I've had a lot to focus on outside of writing. I recently decided to change my career path from medical school to physical therapy school. As a biomedical major, I think it's every students dream to become a doctor. And as much as I dream of having a doctorate of osteopathy, the classes I am taking right now have just made me miserable. So instead of being a biomedical science major with an emphasis in pre-medicine, I've decided to be a biomedical science major with an emphasis in physical therapy. That may not seem like much of a change to you, but it's required a lot of letting go on my part. Realizing that I would be happier with a more specialized doctorate than a generalized doctorate has been a big step for me. It sounds really silly to anyone else who isn't interested in science but to me it was a giant change. I hate letting go of control, for me this is letting go of control. But for a good reason. Now instead of taking years of undergrad worth of chemistry, physics, and introductory to pharmacy, I get to focus on what I truly love. Anatomy, physiology, exercise science and my all time favorite: sub cellular biology, (I don't discriminate though, all biology is my favorite).
Wow... I'm a nerd.
I think this type of self awareness applies to the rest of my life too. I really wanted to throw down an incredible cross country season. I felt guilty that my coach had brought me all the way from New Mexico to run for him when I was running so slow. I wanted to show my teammates that I was a lot more than the girl who had fractured her legs. But the more I focused on owning up to my name, the more discouraged I got. I realized that I needed to stop focusing on getting back to being the same runner I had been before my injury, and start focusing on the type of runner I was going to be afterwards. Let me tell you, amazing things happened. I gave up on the identity I had built for myself and strived for something better. Instead of getting upset when I couldn't match my pre-injury paces I started celebrating every mile. Instead of dreading hard workouts I was thankful that I at least got to run. Instead of pushing my body beyond the point of repair, I exercised self respect and humbled myself to my coach's training. Instead of getting nervous for races I let my legs, arms, and heart do what they do best; I let myself fly as fast as I could. I may not have ended this 2017 cross country season as the fastest on the team, I didn't even make the travelling squad like I had the year before. But I did end the season with healthy legs, something I have never ended any season with, ever in my whole entire life. And it's just continued to get better. My off season workouts post injury are faster than my in season workouts pre-injury. My legs are not only faster than they were before my injury, they are more developed, better taken care of, respected and ready.
10K Here I come.
